Lily and James forevor
by evelyn4eva
Summary: An unpublished classic I received from an annonymous but truly great author! You know who you are! I think you are the awesomest person ever, and I worship you.
1. The Adventures of Lily and James

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Lily. Lily was a happy little girl who lived in a house and ate m&ms all day. One day, Lily ate too many m&m's and got really fat, and then Lily was sad, so Lily went to find a magic fairy who could help her be not fat, so Lily went away. Lily was skipping down the road when she saw an evil hedgehog that was about to stab her to death with tissues, so Lily took a piece of tape and stuck it on the hedgehog's head, and the hedgehog flew away. Then Lily found a mushroom and wanted to eat it, so she ate it and flew away too. From the sky she saw the house of the magical witch, Mollyanna, so Lily flew down to Mollyanna's house, and asked Mollyanna if she could make her unfat again. But Mollyanna said that Noralina couldn't become nonfat unless she promised she would never see her true love James ever again, and Lily was very sad, so she told Mollyanna that she would just have to suffer and be fat. Then Lily flew back home again, but when she got home, James was so disgusted by her fatness, that he jumped off a cliff, so Lily jumped off the cliff after him and saved him. And after that he didn't care that she was fat anymore and decided that Lily was a good person, even if she was fat. So Lily decided to go on a diet and became nonfat after a few years.

THE END

Epilogue

Many years later, when Lily and James had a cute baby boy named Harry, Lily and James got blown up by an evil wizard named voldemort

THE END


	2. The Second Adventure

Many years after Lily and James went to hell, Lily decided she hated James, and that she was going to kill him again.

Lily had lots of ideas, but since they were both already dead, most of them didn't work, she couldn't murder him, cut his ears off, or anything else like that, so Lily had no idea what to do.

"What ever should I do Katsiekay?" Lily asked her new best friend. Katsiekay was the evil hedgehog who had once tried to stab her on her way to visit Mollyanna, but once Lily and Katsiekay he gotten to know each other they had become good friends, sadly, Katsiekay, being a hedgehog, couldn't talk, so she just grunted. Lily was very upset, the bread she had had for breakfast had been moldy, Katsiekay had no suggestions for her about James, and the form she had sent in to see if she could be transferred to heaven still hadn't been answered. So Lily thought and thought and thought, and then, she got it! She could put cursed iodine in his shampoo, and his hair would turn orange FOREVOR! No! thought Lily at first, it's too evil, the cursed iodine they have here NEVER washed out, and burns you forevor, even though it never physically does anything, but then Lily realized that eternal pain was exactly what James deserved, yes! She thought, that will teach him! "Oh Katsiekay" said Lily," I've come up with the perfect plan, I'm going to but cursed iodine in James' shampoo!" And then, Katsiekay gave an evil grunt, but what she really meant was, "Yes! Muahahahaha!"

The very next day, Lily went to the store and bought cursed iodine, she was in a good mood, and her bread had not been moldy today. When she got home, there was a letter from the people in heaven saying that she would have a trial to tell the court why she thought she should be able to transfer to heaven the next day. "But Katsiekay!" exclaimed Lily, that means I'll have to put iodine in James' shampoo tonight." And Katsiekay grunted sympathetically.

In the dark of midnight, Lily snuck to James' house and hid under his window. Then she saw him, sleeping on his bed, and then she realized that she couldn't do this to James because he was too hot, so she just sat under his window all night staring at him and hyperventilating.

The next morning Lily went to her trial.

"Why do you think you should be allowed to transfer to heaven?" asked the judge.

"Because, last night, I did a good deed." said Lily, "I was going to put cursed iodine in my ex-husband's shampoo, but I decided I couldn't because he was too hot."

"That is terrible!" said the judge, "You were going to put cursed iodine in your ex-husband's hair? You will never go to heaven! I sentence you to stay in hell, FOREVOR!"

Just at that moment, James walked through the doors, and said "Lily, thank you for not putting iodine in my shampoo, I want you to know that, I love you!"

"I love you too, James!' Said Lily.

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER IN HELL (forevor)


	3. The Adventures of Katsiekay the beautifu...

The adventures of Katsiekay the evil hedgehog 

Katsiekay wasn't really evil, it was all her family's fault. Her evil mother Kristine-Kristine was a horrible person, and Stevie, her father, was also bad. Her sisters Annanana and Sarahkarah were even worse. They attacked Katsiekay with muffins and pieservers, so she ran off into the wilderness to become a tissue-monk. She trained for 10 million million trillion year until she was the best tissue fighter in the whole entire world. Then she went off to kill people with her terrifying tissue skills.

She was so terrifying that people were terrified of her. When they saw her, they said, "oh look! Its katsiekay-the-terrifying-hedgehog-who-is-not-really-evil-but-is-still-a-skilled-tissue-fighter-and-someone-we-should-bow-down-to-because-we-are-terrified-of-her-terrifyingness." Or KTTHWINREBISASTFASWSBDTBWATOHT for short. So, they made katsiekay their empress, so she is now known as katsiekay-the-terrifying-hedgehog-who-is-not-really-evil-but-is-still-a-skilled-tissue-fighter-and-is-now-the-empress-of-the-terrifying-katsian-empire-so-we-all-should-bow-down-to-her-and-do-everything-she-tells-us-to, or KTTHWINREBISASTFAINTEOTTKESWASBDTHADESTUT for short. One day Katsiekay was riding a pink flamingo when she saw a little girl that was very fat skipping down the road. Katsiekay was furious! In the Katsian Empire, you were not allowed to skip, you had to crawl, because no one and nothing was allowed to ever be taller than Katsiekay, who was very very short being a hedgehog "Grunt grunt grunt grunt, grunt, grunt, grunt grunt!" grunted Katsiekay terrifyingly, because as we all know, hedgehogs can't talk, they can only grunt terrifyingly. but what Katsiekay meant was "Stop skipping you stupid, ugly, fat little girl!" But the girl, being incredibly stupid, didn't stop, so Katsiekay had no choice, she whipped out her terrifying tissues, and ran at the little girl, but then, the little girl did something Katsiekay did not expect, she stuck a piece of tape that was pink and scented with strawberries on Katsiekay's head. Katsiekay was amazed, no one had before stuck a piece of tape that was pink and scented with strawberries before. And after all, she was katsiekay-the-terrifying-hedgehog-who-is-not-really-evil-but-is-still-a-skilled-tissue-fighter-and-is-now-the-empress-of-the-terrifying-katsian-empire-so-we-all-should-bow-down-to-her-and-do-everything-she-tells-us-to, or KTTHWINREBISASTFAINTEOTTKESWASBDTHADESTUT for short. Somehow, the tape gave katsiekay the magical ability to fly, so she flew away, but then an eviller and terrifyinger flying punicorn (a mix b/w a unicorn and a peacock)Aliel.inc tore the tape that was pink and scented with strawberries and katsiekay fell down into a cliff and died.

THE END

At katsiekay's trial to see if she should go to heaven or hell, she could onIy grunt, so they gave up and sent her to hell.


End file.
